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ill try to keep this short.. i have a 6 yr old daughter, and a 8 yr old son. about a week ago a mother, her 15 yr old son and 9 yr old daughter moved in across the street. my kids like to play with the daughter but ive put a stop to that. the reasons: the first time she came over they decided to put half a bag of grass clippings into the pool(it had water), the next time they broke into my car and stole my change, then they picked our neighbors flowers ( a neighbor who we FINALLY get along with), then they flat out told me they werent gonna listen to me anymore. this is new behavior for my kids. they have always been well behaved. this mother doesnt supervise her daughter, and allows her son to spend the night with his gf… i just dont want that influence on my kids. am i wrong? my kids are upset and they dont understand. what do i say?
It is absolutely correct that you will not have a child to visit at your house if that child will not respect your authority, and that you will not allow your children to play with a child who models inappropriate behavior, and that is exactly what you say to your kids. You tell your kids that you are very concerned about this child’s behavior and that you see changes in their own behavior when they are around her. You remind them about the theft and vandalism ( it doesn’t hurt to use the proper names for these crimes, and point out that it is, in fact, against the law), and tell them that that is your job as a parent to make sure that they do not grow up to be criminals.
The ages are unfortunate. Really, I suspect your son would rather have boys to play with, and your daughter is so much younger than this kid that she will be unable to stand against the peer pressure. The 9 year old neighbor girl is going to be in charge of any playtime with a 6 year old. I’d be very leary of that situation.
However, it’s very hard to keep kids apart when they live right across the street, so plan B is to straighten this kid out. Watch her like a hawk, and come down hard at the least sign of bad behavior. Don’t hesitate to correct her, give her a stern lecture, send her home, tell her parents, or ban her from playing at your house for a week. If fact, don’t hesitate to call the cops on these kids if it is appropriate. Treat her like one of your own kids that needs to be set straight. I suspect she’s going to be lonely and want to play, so she’s likely to see the light. Strangely enough, I’ve been rather severe on almost all of the neighbor kids at one time or another, and they are all fond of me. Just let them know that you are fond of them but you won’t put up with any BS.
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No. You need to do what is right for your family and your kids. Explain to them as simply as you can. Eventually they will be ok. Stop it now.
I know those kinds of kids. They don’t have any discipline and are out of control. They are trouble. Your kids are acting up because of it. That’s reason enough. Just stick to it. Be consistent and don’t cave. You are doing the right thing.